Barking Up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker, The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong
Recommended book for beginner/intermediate. The first half of the book introduced me to some new information and the second half was a review of what I’ve already known. Still good stuff though.
Givers, takers, matchers. Givers are at the top and bottom of the list are the Nice guys that finish last. The givers at the bottom let themselves get taken advantage of. The givers at the top of the list learn to trust people and therefore take more chances and become more successful. Matchers are people who get and give in more or less equal amounts. Takers make sure they “come out ahead” and take more than they give.Givers at the bottom, takers and matchers are in the middle, and givers who trust are at the top in achievement and success.
Pirates, gangs, and organized crime use trust and an honor system to organize their activities. Allegedly Blackbeard killed exactly 0 people and made exactly 0 people walk the plank. Because that’s expensive in doing business. You’d rather scare the merchants into giving up right away versus having to fight them which is costly to both sides.
Moldova does very poorly economically because nobody trusts each other.
Jerks finish 1st in the beginning. However this is not sustainable and in time they will finish last.
Valedictorians and good employees never become super successful. It’s the outliers and the major deviation that become great. Dandelions vs. orchids.
Stick to your expertise, your niche – be true to your self and you will be successful and happy.
Picking the right pond. Are you in a place that recognizes and respects your qualities.
Multiple yardsticks used to measure happiness in life is required. You need various metrics. The 4 metrics:
1. Happiness: Feelings of pleasure or contentment in and about your life.
2. Achievement: Accomplishments that compare favorably against similar goals others have strived for.
3. Significance: A positive impact on people you care about.
counting to others
4. Legacy: Establishing your values or accomplishments in ways that help others find future success. extending
Collapsing strategy – just focusing on one metric, like making money (double down on one metric)
Sequencing strategy – first make money, then focus on relationships, then health (focus on one while neglecting the others)
You can’t achieve success in your life sequentially. For example the guy on his deathbed says he wish he worked less and spent more time of this family.
Eric Barker really goes into detail with this topic on his blog:
People who practice gratitude are happier people overall.
Having too many choices is bad. Limitless freedom is paralyzing.
Satisficing is living with good enough.
Maximizing is exploring all options and getting the best.
Satisficers are happier. Local vs. global maxima – engineering. Traveling Salesman problem. NP-Complete.
Big networks make you successful. Organic, authentic relationships and making friends is a much more effective way to network than just making a lot of acquaintances. Operate at a level of Confidence that is natural and authentic. The Superconnectors of Gladwell’s Tipping Point.
filtered vs. unfiltered leaders. Filtered – heavily vetted. Unfiltered – less classically trained, less predictable.
The author discusses Angela Duckworth’s work in the area of Grit. The author also mentions the work of Martin Seligman on optimism. Grit requires optimism. Optimists say bad stuff is temporary and isn’t universal and not their fault. This concept works for individuals and groups. Seligman and colleagues proposed that our ability to deal with setbacks is largely determined by three P’s of Explanatory style:
1 personalization — the belief that we are at fault
2 pervasiveness — the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life
3 permanence — the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever
Flexible optimism is tendency to face reality with a positive outlook without dwelling unduly on the negatives.
Viktor Frankl – “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Friedrich Nietzsche – “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
You can have false memories, caused by confabulation, or the brain’s attempt to fill in missing memory gaps by adding fabricated facts and experiences. The human memory can’t be trusted to be exactly accurate. It assimilates similar experiences, even if they are unrelated.