Barking Up The Wrong Tree by Eric Barker – 118

Barking Up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker, The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong

Recommended book for beginner/intermediate. The first half of the book introduced me to some new information and the second half was a review of what I’ve already known. Still good stuff though.

Givers, takers, matchers. Givers are at the top and bottom of the list are the Nice guys that finish last. The givers at the bottom let themselves get taken advantage of. The givers at the top of the list learn to trust people and therefore take more chances and become more successful. Matchers are people who get and give in more or less equal amounts. Takers make sure they “come out ahead” and take more than they give.Givers at the bottom, takers and matchers are in the middle, and givers who trust are at the top in achievement and success.

Pirates, gangs, and organized crime use trust and an honor system to organize their activities. Allegedly Blackbeard killed exactly 0 people and made exactly 0 people walk the plank. Because that’s expensive in doing business. You’d rather scare the merchants into giving up right away versus having to fight them which is costly to both sides.

Moldova does very poorly economically because nobody trusts each other.

Jerks finish 1st in the beginning. However this is not sustainable and in time they will finish last.

Valedictorians and good employees never become super successful. It’s the outliers and the major deviation that become great. Dandelions vs. orchids.

Stick to your expertise, your niche – be true to your self and you will be successful and happy.
Picking the right pond. Are you in a place that recognizes and respects your qualities.

Multiple yardsticks used to measure happiness in life is required. You need various metrics. The 4 metrics:

1. Happiness: Feelings of pleasure or contentment in and about your life.

2. Achievement: Accomplishments that compare favorably against similar goals others have strived for.

3. Significance: A positive impact on people you care about.
counting to others

4. Legacy: Establishing your values or accomplishments in ways that help others find future success. extending

Collapsing strategy – just focusing on one metric, like making money (double down on one metric)
Sequencing strategy – first make money, then focus on relationships, then health (focus on one while neglecting the others)

You can’t achieve success in your life sequentially. For example the guy on his deathbed says he wish he worked less and spent more time of this family.

Eric Barker really goes into detail with this topic on his blog:

People who practice gratitude are happier people overall.
Having too many choices is bad. Limitless freedom is paralyzing.
Satisficing is living with good enough.
Maximizing is exploring all options and getting the best.
Satisficers are happier. Local vs. global maxima – engineering. Traveling Salesman problem. NP-Complete.

Big networks make you successful. Organic, authentic relationships and making friends is a much more effective way to network than just making a lot of acquaintances. Operate at a level of Confidence that is natural and authentic. The Superconnectors of Gladwell’s Tipping Point.

filtered vs. unfiltered leaders. Filtered – heavily vetted. Unfiltered – less classically trained, less predictable.

The author discusses Angela Duckworth’s work in the area of Grit. The author also mentions the work of Martin Seligman on optimism. Grit requires optimism. Optimists say bad stuff is temporary and isn’t universal and not their fault. This concept works for individuals and groups. Seligman and colleagues proposed that our ability to deal with setbacks is largely determined by three P’s of Explanatory style:
1 personalization — the belief that we are at fault
2 pervasiveness — the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life
3 permanence — the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever
Flexible optimism is tendency to face reality with a positive outlook without dwelling unduly on the negatives.

Viktor Frankl – “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Friedrich Nietzsche – “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

You can have false memories, caused by confabulation, or the brain’s attempt to fill in missing memory gaps by adding fabricated facts and experiences. The human memory can’t be trusted to be exactly accurate. It assimilates similar experiences, even if they are unrelated. [Recalling a memory reactivates the neurons composing the memory trace, spurring them to form new connections. The altered circuitry then becomes stable again, and the memory is “reconsolidated.”]
Suggestibility is the tendency to believe what others suggest to be true.
People can assimilate real events with stories from movies or books and later recall an event that never actually happened. One thing I am concerned about are the existence of fantasy and science fiction movies, although a lot of fun to watch, can influence people to believe things that are not true. Same goes for fake news. The result can lead to people with beliefs of incorrect data.

The notion of cognitive biases was introduced by Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman in 1972. Daniel Kahneman is Professor of Psychology and Public Affairs Emeritus at the Woodrow Wilson School, the Eugene Higgins Professor of Psychology Emeritus, discusses cognitive biases.

Kurt Vonnegut — ‘We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.’

Navy Seals and an injured mountain climber gamify to succeed.
WOOP. An acronym for 4 steps to achieving any goal based on research by Gabriele Oettingen:

Wish- Motivation. Don’t fantasize or daydream. Don’t tell people about it.
Outcome – Get specific with your outcome.
Obstacle – Acts as motivator. If goal is unrealistic that will be realized too. Helps to prepare.
Plan – How to react to obstacles. Can I build this?

Never give up vs. fail fast. Freakonomics quitting is good. Opportunity cost.

Having friends You can talk to is extremely important

How to get a mentor – be worthy.

Confident people are more successful on average. Successful people have an internal locus of control. They takebigger risks on avg.

Narcists are more successful but empathy can temper the negative traits.

The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled people make poor decisions and reach erroneous conclusions, but their incompetence denies them the metacognitive ability to recognize their mistakes. They rate their ability as much higher than it actually is.

Self compassion

Loving what you do is more important than making a lot of money.

Too much OT leads to decreased productivity and added stress.

Sleep is important to productivity.

Gangass Khan

Always have a plan

Journal your time to see where you are wasting it.

Look for hot spots and improve on them.

To do lists are the devil. Schedule things. Fixed schedule productivity. Cal Newport.

The peak and the way something ends sticks in memory more than average experience. Colonoscopy example.